


Its Almost Like We're Those Asshats From Jurassic Park

by AnabielVriskaMars



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, non-sburb AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-11 03:59:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4420463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnabielVriskaMars/pseuds/AnabielVriskaMars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one can possibly find you here.</p><p>You're going to spend the most unironically nerdy week in the middle of the dessert with a bunch of people you don't know and its oddly relaxing.</p><p>Wait, is that--?</p><p>"Hi Dave!"</p><p>FUCK.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just Don't Tell Them, Man

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write something else for months, so here it is.
> 
> This ship must live on, at least in my heart.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> This Story Started Out As A OneShot But I Turned It Into A Multi Halfway Through - A song by me.

You've fooled them.

You've JamesBond-ed the fuck out of your friends. You are a fucking  _king_ of deceit. You are a poster-child for everything white suburban moms teach their children not to be. You are so deceitful you could probably convince them that you're not real.

They really think that you went to spend two weeks of summer in the beach and that there's no internet there.

And that's motherfucking brilliant, cause it means that they won't ask you to videochat, and it justifies how tan your skin's gonna be after two weeks under the sun.

Christ you are Ocean's Eleven and that douche Hans from Frozen because you make anyone believe a n y t h i n g.

No one would guess what your pasty white ass is really doing.

You wipe sweat from your forehead. Its hot as balls but you're excited as fuck. You just finished setting up your tent a little outside of the main circle, which surrounds the fire directly. You have no idea why anyone would like to be so close to the fire, but you suppose that's their business. Your years under the texan sun have prepared you for these levels of heat, though to be honest you were always kind of hiding in your room with the AC at full blast.

But you made it here, and that's what's important. 

You're in the middle of the dessert with a bunch of people who have no fucking clue of who you are. People you're never gonna see again, so it doesn't matter if you don't manage to be ill as fuck all the time, cause they don't particularly matter. You can be as unironically enthusiastic as your blood pumping bomb demands and its a-okay.

Two entire weeks at an archeological site.

Holy fuck you're so excited you can't believe it. 

When you got the email saying that your submission had passed through and you were accepted as one of the students on this trip your head just fucking exploded and blew all over the galaxy before rearranging itself back into mushy, pink little worms in your cranium. 

You admit to yourself, when you applied to this trip, you studied the shit out of everything. The test? You studied for weeks. The essay? You investigated the shit out of that. You even went to the interview looking spiffy as fuck all up in that bitch, with your black suit (the one with the tiny broken disc cause that's still how you roll) and you charmed the skirt out of that old crone

-okay, you didn't charm the  _skirt_ out of her cause that would've been fucking weird she was like eighty fucking years old and thanks but  _no thanks_ you're willing to do a  _lot_ for this internship, but you've gotta draw the line somewhere y'know?-

and had been waiting three weeks for the answer. 

You do admit that it did suck that you couldn't tell your friends.

You've never been as proud of something as you were when you got the letter of acceptance, and you really wanted to share it with those dorks, its just that--

You've got an image to maintain, alright? And its--

No, you're not going to continue that trainwreck of neurotransmiting mess you were about to call "thought." You're a master of deceit, but enough is enough for one day, and if you owe anyone the truth, its yourself.

You're actually shit-stainingly petrified of failing.

More than that, you're so scared of having your friends support you and then screw up and have to faec their disappointment that its like your scrotum turns inwards. You can imagine telling Rose that you're doing something worthwhile, and the little glint of pride in her eyes, or how John would create this elaborate gift to commemorate the situation, or even how Jade would squeal a little in excitement and hug you because its something you're passionate about.

But then you think of the glint dying in Rose's eyes, or John having to say "oh... well, i'll still send the present... I hope you like it," and Jade just trying to look upbeat but clearly a little sad for you. 

Its too much.

Its too much to try and fail when you've never tried and never have had to succeed. Its too much strain to  _have_ to succeed when you don't know what you're doing because you want your friends to be happy ad proud of you. Because its the first time you've tried something this big. Because it could really make you  _happy_.

And you don't want them to see when it inevitably crumbles to dust under your disgustingly ashen sauerkrout digits that can only seem to drop hopes, dreams, and sweet raps.

So you're gonna keep this to yourself for now. Its just you. And if you fail... you fail alone, and you will deal with it accordingly.

And that's why you entered this camp. 

And you're really excited because you have to declare your major soon, and if this is it, well... this  _is_ it.

So its good not to have any distractions or concerns and the like.

You fix your shades over your nose, and for the first time its not for aesthetical reasons. The sun is genuinely being a burning-brighter-than-adam-sandler's-asshole bitch and you need to protect your satanic ritualistic virgin-baby-blood coloured eyes, which are particularly sensitive to this satan dust people insist on calling sand. Your clothes are pretty fresh, you think, but with this heat, you know that it'll take you a whole of five minutes to want to rip your skeleton out of your skin.

Your bag flops down on the sand inside your tent and for a second you just  _look_ at it and you feel so motherfucking satisfied.

Fuck yeah, Dave, you've gone up and built a whole place for sustenance yourself.

You ain't need no AC or Bro's fancy shit. You will live like the cavemen: inside an unnecessarily expensive artificial plastic-based piece of fabric intended to keep nature's worst foes outside its throes so you can sit on your ass and drink chill apple juice in a wine cup and pond about the meaning of life like a douchebag wearing a turtle-neck sweater tied around his shoulders whose name is like fucking Brighton, or Chase, or something posh and unnecessary.

Outside they're making role call, so you should probably show your handsome face there. Though you should have left a written warning on the teacher's email explaining that any direct gaze at your face may produce blindness, as direct exposure to the sun sort of amplifies its reflective powers, and looking at your pale white face is like staring at a sun squared.

But no, you didn't send that email, and that's just cause you're an asshole.

So you step outside, ready to begin this two-week adventure under the sun. No friends. No bro. No responsibilities. No necessity to always seem cool.

Its fucked up that you're excited about being able to freely be a nerd without having to worry about your image, but hey, even the great strider is passionate about  _some_ things.

Outside, the group leader is calling all y'all's names, and Jegus Fuck you're so excited you're thinking in texan.

"Matthews." the leader calls.

"Here!"

"Norwhen."

"Here!"

"Radnor."

"Here!"

"Strider."

Your mouth is forming the word but out of the corner of your eye you spot it.

That unequivocal green. 

That disheveled hair.

Those giant-rimmed glassed.

You feel your blood run cold.

 _No way_.

Just as you think this, she turns into your direction and she smiles as excitedly as a puppy being adopted.

"Strider?" you hear the repetition of your name, but you still can't really come around to answer. Jade waves happily at you, and you see the confusion in her eyes, but you really can't bring yourself to anything.

"Isn't there a Strider here?" The leader is annoyed. It kind of snaps you back into reality and for a moment you consider pretending to be your own lost twin brother, but Jade's too smart for that, so you just... accept it.

"I'm here." Your voice doesn't shake, but you know it wants to. 

Jade looks excited. You're pretty sure you look traumatized.

And that's just how these two weeks start for you.

* * *

 

You've got your little hole in the corner and you're totally hiding from Jade. You're still not sure what she's doing here, but its t e r r i f y i n g.

You're studying different strata of fucking dirt and its more interesting than anything you've done in so long. Its fulfilling in ways you didn't know possible.  _You_ , David Aragorn Strider --fuck Bro, you wanted a middle name-- are doing something... eruditical? Intellectual? 

You're doing something for the sake of knowledge itself. A study of the past. A study of ancient--

You're really just picking up dead things, really. 

_And its so fucking cool._

You can't pinpoint how, but--

"There you are!" The voice comes from behind you. You don't want to turn. "I've been looking all over for you!"

You summon a poker face so hard that fucking chips are about to start falling from your nose and cards are going to start groing on your hair like its some kind of card tree, and you turn around to look at Jade, vaguely considering pretending to be someone else.

"Jade." You say as coolly as an iceberg sitting next to you, melting under the scorching sun. "I didn't know you were coming."

Oh,  _sure_  Strider, say  _that_. The  _exact same thing_ she has to say about you. Brilliant, bro.

She just flops into your hole 

- _oh myyyyyy,_ a George Takei voice says in your head--

and sits next to you. Her hair is loose and for a moment you can't help but wonder how she deals with the heat. She's smiling at you.

"I came here on a botany course. There's a little extension called paleonthological botany, and I signed up. Shockingly, there weren't many applicants!" she smiles at you, and in that smile you find a reason to relax. Your shoulders chill a bit. "What about you?"

You sigh. This was bound to come.

"I came here with the Jackson Group."

"The Jack--- Wait, the contest?" She asks, and her eyes open wide.

"Unless I'm hitching a ride with a dead president, yeah."

"You entered the contest?" her voice is a bit awed, and you feel the little fullness of pride in you. If you were a bird, your feathers would be all puffy with being pleased at yourself, probably after impressing a female bird.

What what the fuck kind of analogy was that?

Just-- nevermind.

You just nod, and go back to layers of dirt.

"Dave, you  _won_ the Jackson contest. That's  _huge!_ " She sounds so excited. You don't want to turn because you're scared of the glint of excitement you  _know_ is in her eyes. "Oh my god, why didn't you say anything?"

"Its not important." You say, and shrug. The truth is, this gesture takes a lot out of you, because it  _is_ important, and it _is_  a huge deal, and you  _want_ to see the glint of excitement in her eyes, and you can't believe you're depriving yourself of all of this because you're an insecure douchebag.

"Of course it is!" she scoffs. "Dave, I  _knew_ you would find something you liked! You finally decided to be a paleonthologist? That's so  _cool_!"

You have a hard time keeping the twitch of excitement from the corner of your lips. Jade makes it really hard not to be absolutely  _balling_ about this shit.

"YEah, I studied." You admit.  _Damn it_. _  
_

She sits right next to you. You stop pretending to study dirt and put your tiny pale down and sit with her.

"Hey," she bumps her shoulder to yours. "This is huge... why are you downplaying it?" her voice is a bit lower, and somehow the rock over your little hole hides you both from the wind, and its just really private in here. You shrug.

"I didn't wanna screw up and have to explain myself." You confess, and its kind of liberating being able to say this to someone. And you're pretty glad its Jade. The rest of your friends are just... not as empathetic?

"You're not going to screw up," she says, but you think she knows that the words are empty. "And even if you did, we'd be proud of you for just trying."

You shrug. This is not the kind of conversation you wish you were having, frankly. 

But if you really had to have it, you'd be glad to have it with her.

"Who knows? Academics is one big map area through which I have not driven my fist, so why deprive it from my bony-ass, cheeto-covered fingers?" You ask. You don't have to look at Jade. You know the ambience is a bit thick and she wants to explain that you're wrong. But she reads it too, and she knows that it will get her nowhere.

So she throws an arm over you and side-way hugs you awkwardly, the corner of her forehead against the corner of yours. You relax a bit into it, and kind of slide into genuinely chill mode, not the usual I'm-the-illest-motherfucker-but-i-gotta-be-chill-as-satan's-balls-cause-its-the-strider-way.

This is what you promised yourself: two weeks of nerdly rest, just as the doctor would've prescribed, had you ever bothered to go see one.

"So, its two weeks." She says.

"Yeah, it sounds pretty neat."

"I hope you remembered to bring a really good blanket." She says.

"Jade, its the dessert." You reply.

"You clearly have never been in the dessert at night, have you?"

No, you haven't, but how bad can it be?

Judging by her face at the moment... pretty bad.

 

 


	2. IcyHot

You've picked up all your junk already: the sun is about to set.

Your hole is still in its rightful position on the ground, being substantially lacking of the dirt that would otherwise deem it not a hole, and you find this oddly satisfying. Jade is waiting for you so you guys can walk back to camp together. Its only like five minutes away, but she seems pretty adamant about getting there before it gets dark.

"So, how did you like your first day as a paleonthologist-to-be?" she asks. Normally, you'd feel this to be a jab at you, and this is the exact kind of phrasing that makes you close up and shoot hedgehog-spikes at everything. But Jade's tone is sincere and genuine, and you're actually very happy to be asked that.

"Well, it could've been dead-er." You reply. "Not in the sense that it could've been quieter. I just mean there could've been a lot more dead things. I think that's exactly the kind of thing which would've made this day pretty great." You rant a bit. "You know, sometimes I think if my Bro were here, he'd probs kill one of his fellow students and bury him in pieces everywhere and just sort of pretend to find the pieces and put the puzzle together. It must be nice to be a psychopath, cause that sounds like a baller thing to do."

Jade laughs nervously. "He wouldn't do that... would he?"

You hit her with 120 Watts of Strider poker-face. She seems unsettled.

You sigh. "No Jade, my brother is not a psychopath. A fetishist? Definitely. Psychiatrically traumatized? You bet your sweet ass. Positively sociopathic? I would argue so." You say. "But I have a hard time believing that he'd honestly put so much work into murdering someone and burying them just to dig the up again. Although," you consider, "if he was ever-so-slightly more paternally inclined and warm, it seems like the kind of thing he would've done for me."

You frown. That didn't come out right. 

"I mean, its what he would've done if he was more inclined to take into consideration my interests and my idiosyncrasies as an independent human being with a thought process separate to his own. He would do it because its exactly the kind of fucked up puppet-dong that tickles his tinkles, not because he cares about what I like or don't like."

Jade just listens for a second, and you realize how much you just sort of _dumped_ on her. You try to play it off.

"I don't know, maybe its the kind of thing I'd do for my kid." You say, and again, its a weird thing to say. "I mean, cause I'm obviously also sociopathically damaged, though I might not be as affectively damaged and may actually be able to have any sort of positive feelings towards a hypothetical spawn of myself with Satan."

Her eyebrows are almost to her hairline. For a second you feel as if cold water fell into the pit of your stomach. How much dumb shit can you spew out in a five minute walk, Strider? Jegus.

She giggles.

"I love your rants." She says sheepishly, and the icy cold water turns tepid in your stomach. "How do you even come up with this stuff? I wanna think you plan them ahead of time, but its impossible!" She laughs. "I can barely give a decent comeback after hours of soul-searching, and you can spew the most interesting metaphors in seconds."

You allow yourself to relax a little. Jade's sincerity has always inspired you to try and be a little more honest to yourself, and maybe that's why this particular rant turned to dramatically personal, and you find yourself okay with it.

"Well Jade, my brain is a fucking oasis of wit and my braincells are just hippos sucking at the waterfountain. Ain't nobody want to fuck with those bastards. Do you know how vile hippos are Jade? Adam Sandler could make a movie about them and the shit he produces would not even come close to being as evil as those motherfuckers."

"Excuse me? Hippos are adorable."

"Jade, hippos are the spawn of Satan and DisneyWorld. They eat alligators. They kill their children and shit on everything they find. Goddammit, they practically have sword fights with their teeth. Have you ever gotten close to a hippo Jade? No, cause it will fuck you up. But if you want, by all means. Lets go find one."

She just stares at you, amused. "Hippos live in Africa, so the entire metaphor about the oasis was basically you saying that your brain is a desert and that the only productive thing you can produce is verbal wit."

You shrug. "Is that not true?"

"Of course its not." She says decidedly, and you stop walking just to look at her. She almost seems offended. "You literally just got accepted into a highly prestigious program. You're very smart."

"Anyone can get in if they study." you reply and shrug. "Everything they ask is sort of in the book."

Jade just sort of stares at you blankly. "You... definitely don't know how it works."

You're about to ask, but that's when you hit the camping site, and everyone gets reunited. Jade stays with you, but the subject has been dropped, and you're okay with that. For a moment you vaguely think that you'd like to read up on a couple of things for tomorrow.

"Mr. Strider," the counselor calls, and you and Jade turn to see him. He's as unsettling as a baby's laughter in an abandoned house. He's still wearing those awful green and white suspenders. "Ah, and I see you've found a companion." He smiles at Jade. Its hard to explain, but he has sort of a... featureless face? like nothing in him is remarkable, and he's simply hard to remember. 

"Uhm, hi. I'm in the Botany course." she says and smiles shyly. "My name is Jade Harley."

"Ah, but of course!" he chimes, and its so  _uncomfortable chipper,_ like that weird almost uncle that hangs around every christmas and wants to take all the leftovers and you're just not entirely sure of how to get rid of him. "Miss Harley, I'm Doctor Scratch. You may call me Doc."

She looks uncomfortable. You should get her away from this creep.

"Yeah, sir, so Jade and I were just gonna go over and compare notes on cool dead things versus the boring dead things that they used to eat. So if you excuse us..." 

Scratch just looks at you vaguely, as if he's not really seeing you, cause theres more important things in his world. Its incredibly unsettling.

"Yes, I see, that's quite alright. I suppose I will see you both early tomorrow for the expedition to the caves? Miss Harley, you are most welcome. I think you will find incredible specimens there."

Jade half smiles uncomfortably. "Sure, thank you..."

Scratch smiles smugly and motions a little goodbye to you, like a tip of a hat. "Dr. Grant. Dr. Sattler." He says cryptically right before turning back and leaving.

You wait a few seconds.

"Who the hell was that?" Jade asks. She looks almost offended at Scratch's existence. 

"Scratch. I don't know his precise function besides creeping the dinosaurs out of my boxers." You reply. "He was sort of my entire connection with this trip. But I agree, there's something really wrong with him."

"And what was that he called us? Doctors?"

"Jade, If I tried to make sense of everything everyone tells me all the time, I'd be half dressed in a jalapeño suit and three quarters dead in a ditch."

"Ho--?"

"Don't ask unnecessary questions, Jade." You say, and suddenly a little breeze blows your way. You shiver. Damn that was cold.

"Its starting." She says, almost doomishly.

"What is?"

Jade shudders. "Its gonna get really cold. I hate when that happens."

You feel the beginning of irritation pop its head. "Why do you keep saying that? Its the  _desert_ , Harley."

She looks at you, half curious, half worried. "Dave... temperatures drop to single digits and negatives at night."

You stare at her blankly through your shades. You can barely see anything other than the fire that's about 30 feet from you.

"That's impossible."

"There are no trees. The wind blows pretty cold and there's not really a place to sort of stop it. Its gonna get pretty messed up soon." She says, and looks at you as if she is now considering an awful possibility. "You brought something warmer... right?"

You sort of pout your lips, as if thoughtfully, but the answer is obviously no. Of course not. Why the fuck would you have brought something warm to the fucking desert?

"I should have something." You lie. She can obviously see through it. 

"Are you serious? Dave, you're going to freeze!"

She's being dramatic

* * *

She wasn't being dramatic.

Its cold as Satan's frozen balls in that creepy lake Dante wrote about. 

Oh my god how the fuck can the desert get so cold? You can  _see your breath_ , Strider. What the everloving fuck.

The worst part is that you only brought a bunch of jeans, so on top of cold you're uncomfortable and its impossible to sleep. 

God, those assholes that set up their tents right next to the fire had the right idea. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck.

Your teeth are chattering like they're a turkey in a redneck party. Jegus fuck  _how_ could you let this catch you off guard?

There's the sound of steps outside and the vague outline of a shadow right in your tent.

"Dave?" it whispers. Holy crap. 

"Jade?"

She pops her head in, and you accept it looks pretty cute, like a puppy pushing his head up from the sheets. You sit up and look at her. She's wearing pyjamas with long sleeves.  _Goddammit_ you should've known better.

"Its really cold." She says, and sort of rubs her arm. She looks a bit embarrassed. "Do you... Would you..." You raise an eyebrow. "Do you wanna come over and sleep in my tent? its a lot warmer."

You blink a couple of times. You now realize you're not wearing your shades, and promptly reach for them. Its too dark for Jade to see you clearly, but it still feels to exposed to be without them. 

You raise an eyebrow. "You want me to come over to sleep? Shit Harley, we can braid our hair and talk about boys. Lucky for you, I've got a silky as fuck mane of gorgeous blondness."

She makes a little exasperated huff. You should probably stop being a dick. You look at her for a second.

Wait. 

There's something strange in her expression. There's embarrassment and a little apprehension, which is normal, but there's something else... that embarrassment is not because she's asking you.. its cause...

"Wait. Are you scared?" You ask incredulously.

She huffs in exasperation. "No!" She totally is.

"Jade. You live in an  _island_.  _Alone_." You're a bit debased, frankly. "How can you be scared here?"

Jade sort of rubs her arms a little more and looks away. She's kneeling by the entrance of your little tent. "I always had Beq." Her voice is small. "And it was the forrest. The forrest I know. The desert... not so much." She licks her lips and you can't help yourself from looking at them for only a second. "I don't have any weapons. And..." this seems like the hardest part for her to say. "There's too many people, okay?"

"You, uh," you feel a bit dumb as you incorporate yourself a little better. "You're scared of people."

She looks away. Its the first time you've seen Jade look so... vulnerable. 

"I've never been close to people. Animals, I get. I can shoot anything. They're pretty neutral." She explains, and you're pretty sure she's missing her own level of badassery. "Humans... I.." she sighs. "They make me uncomfortable. They're too many and I can never tell their intentions."

Okay. That's it. You get out of your sleeping bag.

"Come on." You say, and gesture for her to get out. You pull your bag behind you. She looks at you for a second. "Come on, I'm coming over. I'm freezing my balls off. Its like the frozen hills of Canada."

She giggles. "That's gross. I did  _not_ need that amount of information." She looks a lot more relaxed.

"Well, you're about to get a hell of a lot more if you don't hurry up. I'm tired, and these jeans are chafing my very delicate skin."

You two emerge from your tent and walk silently towards Jade's. You can't help but feel a little... excited. 

Wait. What?

The fuck are you excited about, Strider?

Jade reaches her tent, and you see that she's got a heat insulator over it.

 _Clever_.

"Come on, its late and tomorrow we've got the expedition." She says, and you can tell she's very nervous.

"Harley, you're shaking like you're at a stripclub trying to make tips for your next month before you get evicted. Its not that cold."

"I'm not cold." She scowls. In the dim light you see a little blush. "I've never slept with anyone so close, okay?"

"Ah, and the fact that I am a proud penis-owner kind of makes this awkward for you."

She blushes harder. "Shut up, fuckface, or you can go back to your freezer."

You snicker and toss your bag on the floor next to hers. It really _is_ warm in here. 

"Okay, Jade? I need to ask you something."

She's already in her bag, and looks at you with huge green eyes, and damn it, when did Jade get so adorable?

That just makes the question a lot more embarrassing. You rake your hair backwards to play it off.

"I need to get out of these jeans or I'm not gonna be able to sleep. I'm sore enough as it is. Do you mind? You can just turn away until I get in my bag."

She just stares at you blankly.

"You do realize that while I'm a bit nervous at the idea of being surrounded by strangers, the concept of nudity or scant clothing doesn't really make me uncomfortable, right?"

...

"You're very fucking odd, you know that right?"

She smiles a little smile that really suits her and it brightens her face.

"Alright then. If its all the same to you, I'm just gonna take these off."

You lay on top of your bag and just feel a little apprehensive at taking your clothes next to Jade, but hey, if she doesn't mind, neither should you, right? So you close your eyes and take your pants off like you're a victorian housewife having to please her husband and the cold bites at you real quick. You put your pants in the corner and try to get under the bag cause its pretty unsettling to be pantless in front of Jade. She0s giggling.

"You had chicken skin." She giggles. 

"Its cold, Harley."

"It's funny, Dave." She says with a grin, and again it strikes you how much it suits her to smile. "Your skin is really white and you had goosebumps so it really did look like a chicken."

"Okay, if you're done making fun of my bodily reactions, its time to go to sleep. We've got to get up early tomorrow."

"Alright, alright." she says. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

But you don't fall asleep. You're just very aware of the fact that she's right next to you, and her breath seems so much louder than it should be possible. You hear the toss and turn of her bag, and how her breathing's uneven, and it fills the air much more than the howl of the wind outside.

"You're still awake." Her voice is quiet and it breaks the stillness.

"No way, Watson." You reply dryly, though you're not entire sure why. 

"I can't sleep." she says.

"Yeah, me neither."

A few more seconds of entire silence engulf you.

"I'm proud of you." The words seem to come unbidden to her lips, and you feel in the atmosphere that she's as surprised at you at them.

"Its not a big deal." Wow, your voice sounds pathetic. Why does her voice sound so sweet and clear then?

"You wanted something and you worked for it. Its a big deal, Dave." She says, and you want to believe her words, but they don't hit home the way you wish. "You're capable of a lot. I just wished you could believe it."

"Yes, I'm a regular Indiana Jones." You reply. "Lets just stay away from Nazis okay?"

You feel in the air that she's smiling.

Something touches your hand, and for a second you flinch, thinking that its a scorpion or something really dark, but the softness of it and the way it radiates heat tells you that its something good. It wraps around your hand, and Jade squeezes slightly.

"I really am proud of you, Dave," she says, and the heat comes in through your hand and it warms up everything inside of you. "I'm glad you came to this trip too. It was a nice surprise."

"Me too." The words pop out of your mouth, as if your lungs coughed them and you couldn't hold them back. "I'm also proud of you. Always have been."

You know she's smiling.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You're probably the best person I know."

You could believe there's more light in the tent, and you're 100% sure that its because she's smiling.

"How does one become the best person?"

"I don't know." You reply, and in the darkness its so much easier to be honest. "But you are."

"You're the best person I know, too."

"You don't know very good people then."

"I know the same as you." You hear her yawn, and are overcome by the slight disappointment of knowing that the conversation is over. "Goodnight Dave," she whispers again, and you feel her hand try to escape yours, and something overtakes you and you can't help it. You clench it.

You don't want to let go of that warmth.

You're scared that she's going to ask, and you have no answer. But she doesn't. When she feels you trap her hand, she relaxes immediately, and squeezes yours back, settling in your palm as if it has no intentions of going anywhere.

After a couple of minutes you feel it go limp and hear her breath even out. She's asleep.

You don't let go of her hand until you're asleep.

 


	3. The Caves Are Alright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't know Harley, I could make a balloon dog. Did you ever think about that? Then I could make another balloon dog and pretend they're having sex."
> 
> "Isn't that what your brother does?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> why do i begin so many stories?
> 
>  
> 
> also i seem to be obsessed with Riptide by Vance Joy, though it really has nothing to do with this chapter, it was just something i wanted to share with y'all

Oh god now its hot.

Its so fucking hot.

You can't  _believe_ how hot it got.

Jegus Christ you're gonna mel--

"Would you stop being so dramatic? The sun's barely out, dork. Its not that hot." Jade cuts into your rant. You watch her from your sleeping bag. She's already dressed and ready to go, and you haven't even rolled out of bed. This is laughably a good excerpt of both your lives.

"Wait. When did you get dressed?" You ask. She shrugs.

"You were asleep."

"So you had your butt hanging out while I was sleeping? Jeez Harley, hoy about some decency?" You joke. 

"Decency would imply that I consider you a threat." She sticks out her tongue, and you wanna throw something back but you can't.

There's a little feeling in your chest that you can't really recognize.

You think... that... hurt..?

"A threat? You don't think I could be a threat? I could take you on." Your heart's not in the joke.

She snorts. "First, you  _couldn't_ take me on." Yeah ok, she's got you there. "Second, I mean a threat as in... if you see me changing you're not gonna do anything. We're friends, right?"

It stings a bit more.

"Excuse you, I could do something." You reply and you have no idea of what the fuck you're doing.

"Like what?" she seems genuinely curious, with a hint of something else-- you can't identify it though.

"I don't know Harley, I could make a balloon dog. Did you ever think about that? Then I could make another balloon dog and pretend they're having sex."

"Isn't that what your brother does?"

...

Ouch.

"Okay fine, forget the balloons having sex. The point is I could  _do_ something."

"Jeez, Dave, don't take it so hard." She looks at you for a second, and then you see the tiniest change of shade in her face, but you probably imagined that. Besides, she turns away so you can't be sure. "I mean you wouldn't jump me or anything."

You frown. "You think some random guy would just jump you cause you're changing?"

Now you really see the blush.

"I don't know! I told you I'm not used to people!"

"... Well they might. I'll give you that." You concede. "Yeah, its better that you're careful. Just next time let me know and I'll turn and close my eyes. Lest I wake up in the middle of your nude prancing."

"Its not prancing." She rolls her eyes.

"You admit its nude though."

"Yes, Dave, to change, I must be nude. You got me." She wants to be serious, but you can see the edge of her mouth curve upward. "Now hurry up, fuckface, we're gonna be late. Remember we've got Scratch's expedition today."

"Alright. Give me some privacy." You say, and Jade just stares blankly at you.

"I literally saw you in boxers last night. You're  _literally_ just gonna throw some pants on.  _Why_ do you need me to leave the tent?"

"Because I'm a lady that must protect her body from uncouth glances, Harley."

"I'm pretty sure you've had enough uncouth glances."

"Only in the dark, Jade, I'm classy and expensive."

She laughs and hits you with her pillow. "Come on, Dave! We're gonna be late! Just get dressed!" You hear her laugh in the "Co" of come on, and you can't help but hang in it just for a second too long before shaking the thought out of your head.

"Fine, at least turn around."

* * *

 

Its noon and the caves are pretty fresh.

They're also baller as fuck.

The different layers of strata are well defined, and the years of refining by water make the case study amazing. Jade showed you a bunch of carbon prints and regular fossil prints of plants you can't even name.

You, on the other hand, found the skeleton of a rat that's been dead for --in your expert paleontological opinion-- about 200 years. Jade helped you date it by using the prints of certain botanical evidence around the cave, which you guys guess was probably buried for a long time, until a tectonic shift released it into the surface again.

Basically, you are _owning_ this shit.

You and Harley are the dream team. You can see everyone else sort of looking at you with begrudging respect, like you're the biggest asshole in a highschool class but since you beat everyone else at the trombone contest they have no choice but to make you their leader.

Jade seems entirely oblivious of this, and seems to be excited just to be working in something she loves.

"You know," she says when you guys are taking a lunch break. You pulled both your snacks out of your bag --you know Jade, and how _awful_ she is at remembering little things like fucking  _food_ and, you know,  _breathing_. You swear, if she didn't have those reminders she'd be dead in no time--  "I was pretty worried at coming here by myself."

You drink the last slurp of your apple juice. "Worried about what? The desert? its animals? the inherent danger in everyday activities at a paleontological site?" 

Psyche. You've got another AJ in store. You pop it open.

"I mean, I'm not good at making friends, Dave." She looks a little embarrassed to have to admit it. You just shrug.

"You made friends with me easy enough."

"You  _hated_ me at first. John  _made_ you give me a chance."

You sigh and put the carton down.

"Okay, all cards on the table? And I'm not gonna repeat it in front of anyone, so really take it in and enjoy this," you say, "the first time we spoke I thought you were easily the coolest person I'd ever talked to."

Her eyes open wide. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah. It was intimidating. That's why I told John I didn't like you." You can't believe you're confessing this.

Dear god, Strider, where is your pride?

She giggles. Its adorable.

"The first time we talked... I told John I said the same thing."

"That you didn't like me?" you raise an eyebrow.

She shakes her head and seems to be playing with a little rock, and very pointedly not looking at you. "That you were the coolest person  _I'd_ ever met."

"Jade, I know that you're trying to make that a compliment, but you literally knew three people and a dog."

This time she laughs more freely, and that's a lot more like the Jade you know. 

"Okay,  _fine_ , Dave, I thought you were like one of those really cool people from the movies." _  
_

Your eyebrow is still up. "What?"

She's trying to kill the smile, but it only looks more adorable.

_ When did you start finding her adorable? _

"Yeah... In the movies the cool kids are always the ones that don't care about anything and they're always super chill... at first I thought you were kind of a drag, cause you were like that, but as the conversation went on... I don't know, you started talking about music and you began rapping and it was just so... honest? You were really into it. I just thought you were really cool. Like in the movies."

"You have a nice smile." She comments, and you realize you're doing it. You try to kill it instantly. "Why don't you ever smile?"

You relax a bit against the rock you're leaning on.

"I don't know. Its just not in my nature."

"Dave, I've seen you actively force yourself not to smile."

You sigh. "I don't know. I think its because my brother never does."

"Never?"

"Nah."

"In your highscool graduation?"

"Hell no, he didn't even come. He just left a note next to cold noodles saying 'A week off strife practice,' which, you know, is just as good."

Jade frowns. "Wait, so he didn't even congratulate you on your graduation?"

You shrug. "What difference does it make?"

"A big one! You worked hard on highschool!"

"No, I didn't. I was a douche and spent my classes drawing shitty cartoons. I was a regular C-student." You reply. 

"He didn't congratulate you for the Jackson Contest either, did he?"

You shrug, and try not to make it a big deal, and itkinda sucks that she keeps trying to blow it up. "You didn't either. Its all alright."

She frowns. "Fine."

And just like that, the conversation is over, and so is lunch.

 

* * *

Its late afternoon after its all over.

You guys get back to camp, and Jade's doing Jade somewhere else. You can't help but think how it sucks, and that damn, you kind of miss her even though she's been gone like five fucking minutes Strider oh my god, what are you a crack whore? Jegus christ, you really need to get your shit together.

Its nice having her around, you realize. You highly doubt this day would've been as cool as it was if she hadn't been around. 

To be completely honest, yeah, the conversation at lunch did bum you out a bit, but it doesn't dampen your spirits.

AFter that conversation, Jade seemed quite alright, though some things stuck with you.

You'd never really thought about the fact that you don't smile much. You suppose its something you didn't notice. 

You give Jade a lot of shit for growing up so secluded, but in reality you were pretty much the same.

Bro was never particularly attentive. He's as much a guardian as Lil' Cal is, though somewhat less unsettling. You didn't bother making friends in school. You were always doing you, headphones on, doodling shit. The only time when you actually talked to people was after you got home, or sometimes you'd hit your friends up in the PDA you stole (though you  _know_ he knows) from Bro.

Jade, John and Rose were all you needed most of your highschool life. Later you met Karkat and Terezi and Tavros, and they were pretty cool too. Okay, maybe not Karkat. But he's your bro.

Thing is, you got to college, and you met up with them.

Its an astounding coincidence that y'all went to the same school.

Actually no, its more like just cheap writing. Like some broad writing a fanfic couldn't come up with any more reasonable explanation, sitting in her room at three in the morning, writing about fictitious characters.

Though you can't really say much, considering you're the same but with cheap caricatures...

Anyways, back to this.

Having only online friends, and having a brother that shows no emotion, you just... never smiled, you guess. Sure, sometimes there was the slight tug of lips, but you always learned to school your facial reactions to be more like Bro, which you now came to realize is fucked up as shit.

But now that you see it in Jade it just... looks natural.

Its like her face was made for smiling. As if she were drawn that way.

You weren't.

You were conceived as an always frowning guy. Like all that there really is to you is your hair, your shades, and a little downwards line for your mouth, while Jade was goofy teeth, and a cute little smile, and--

Okay, stop thinking about her like that.

Get it out of your head, Strider.

Jade is cute. You know this. You noticed it when you first met her.

Its just that back then it was just a passing thought. It was like noticing that the day is sunny or that there's fish in the water.

Now its all up in your face like some abandoned cat vying for your love.

The way she smiles and the way she talks and how she looks excited when she finds something, or how clever she looks when she's correcting you, or the passion when she's getting caught up in an argument. 

You don't want to admit that... its about downright attractive.

But that can't be, right? You mean, yeah, Jade's attractive to malekind. And some female-kind surely.

But not to you, right?

_Right?_

"Hey," there's a voice next to you. You turn to see some guy you've never seen before. "You're Strider, right?"

You raise an eyebrow. "Who's asking?"

The guy looks a bit uncomfortable, though it might have to do with the fact that it looks like a hipster clown dressed him in the dark. He looks... embarrassed... you think?

"Is this a love proposal? Am I finally the prettiest princess in the kingdom?" you ask. Wow, you're a dick.

He presses his lips together. "Never mind." He says, and turns.

You sigh. "I'm joking. Come on, what's up?"

He sighs and turns to you again. "You and Harley. Are you a thing?"

Wow. You did  _not_ expect this.

"I'm sorry?"

He huffs a bit. "I'm... ugh." he genuinely seems distressed. "I'm in a couple of her classes. I wanna ask her out. I just wanted to know you and she weren't a thing."

You feel the smallest seed of irritation in the pit of your stomach. You want to be a dick to this guy. You wanna be an asshole and just tell him to fuck off and growl and all.

But you don't.

Because you're a master of your emotions. And this mild irritation won't get you out of your zen mode. 

"No, we're not together. We're just friends." You say, and the words tickle your lips unpleasantly as they leave.

He looks a little less embarrassed, but not as excited as he should be at finding out that Jade doesn't have a boyfriend. You decide that you don't like him. He thanks you and leaves, and you just watch him go, irritated.

"Why were you talking to Eridan?" Jade asks, and you turn around to find her. She's got a bag hanging from her arm. 

" _That's_ his name? His parents hated him. Damn his  _closet_  hates him." You shake your head and try to get the unpleasantness out of your system. "What's that?" you point at the bag. Jade smiles.

"Cookies, chocolate and marshmallows to roast in the fire." She grins. "We're making smores!!"

You star at her for a second. "What?"

"I traded things around camp today! I've got to help a couple of people with their projects, but I got us enough to make some smores and celebrate that we're here!! If no one will celebrate with us, we'll celebrate with each other!"

She smiles. Its the most beautiful thing you've seen.

And it that smile, its almost as if you can read it. 

 _You're fucked, Strider_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what fourth wall?


	4. I Really Want A Drink Right Now

Life was much easier when you didn't know.

It was  _so much easier_ when you could pretend that the funny feeling in your stomach was just indigestion, even if it meant having to do your terrible, _terrible_ business in the wild.

But now it's like those five sassy muses from Hercules (you will never  _ever_ admit to having seen that movie. Disney is a corporate mess and should never be allowed to exist. Walt Disney was a sell out who did  _nothing_ for art, goddammit,  _but why are those movies so good_ ) are walking behind you every step of the way fawning over her.

Dude, the way she  _turns a page_ is adorable.

And you just can't ignore it anymore.

You.

Dave.

You, master of deceit, can no longer fool even an ant.

Your name is Dave Strider and you've got it  _bad_.

* * *

Its been an entire week.

All day you're working under the scorching sun, and at nights you guys sleep in the same tent.

Its the most awful kind of torture you can imagine.

Its torture because its getting tiresome to lie. Its tiresome to tell her that no, you weren't looking at her funny, and no, you  _don't_  wanna make friends without her.

All in all, you're glad she's kind of clueless. Glad and not glad. It would be much easier if she knew but you're not gonna tell her.

Because you're that kind of awkward dude.

You've met a couple of people, and you and Jade actually  _do_ spend time with them, its just... you're never apart.

Jade made this kind of funky guy friend who's as into guns as that goddamn diabetic bear is into bee-juice. You swear, the boy's kind of strange. He's got an alien on his shirt. A  _skull_ alien. How old  _is_  this dude? Plus he speaks like a tool.

Okay, he's not so bad. He's actually a pretty nice guy, just dorky.

 _Completely_ unlike you.

On a more important note, that guy Eridan seems not to have made a pass at Jade yet. It makes you nervous. Why hasn't he done anything? He  _knows_ you and she aren't a thing

-you and she? you and her? fuck, you shouldn't have missed so many grammar classes--

so why hasn't he, you don't know,  _manifested_ himself? It would make you feel so much better, cause Jade's  _bound_ to turn him down.

Right?

So why does it make you so nervous that the Marine Biology department is taking the Botany department on a trip for the day?

They left at sunrise. The marine biology department has studied fresh-water species until now, and they needed to go to the closest ocean to do some  _actual_ marine biology. 

And they took Jade.

And Eridan is there.

You are not gritting your teeth and that toothache you have at the moment has nothing to do with this because you are  _not_ bothered by this. Not one bit.

"Hullo, Dave!" you hear.

Fan-tucking-fastic.

You turn. "Jake."

Why does his name sound  _so much_ like hers? Why does he have that  _faint_ resemblance? Or are you just seeing things?

"Old friend, it seems that we were abandoned to our luck for the day!" He chirps. "Too bad, Jade has been one  _wonderful_ exploring companion. She's got a knack for adventure, I tell ya!"

There he goes. Mentioning her.

Goddamn him.

"Yeah, she'll be back soon though. Its just for the day." You say, as much for you as it is for him. "We should probably start working some."

"Ah, yes, Jade said you were a hard worker. I'm excited to see you in action! Word around camp is that you are a very talented scientist!"

You wanna be angry but you're a little bit pleased because fuck yeah you're the best their is and damn straight these losers should acknowledge you as their leader from afar. You will find someone to be your footrest presently. Until then, you're gonna hide your head in the sand like an oversized ostrich hiding from the bearded-half-drunk, recently-divorced because of erectile disfunction problems hunter that killed Bambi's mother.

 _Strider, stop with the fucking Disney references or I swear I will kick your ass_.

Its sad when you talk to yourself in the second person. You're just glad there's no one in this world with access to your thoughts. Especially not a bunch of people reading your thoughts in the internet. Cause that would be embarrassing.

"Listen, there are some ruins about an hour's walk from here. Do you want to join me? I think it would make for an excellent day trip! I could do some exploring and you could try to find some dead things. Though," he smiles sheepishly. "If you find a skull, would you mind showing it to me? I know it sounds terribly uppity of me, and probably a little strange, but I'd like to sketch it."

You stare at him blankly for a good five seconds.

"Whatever floats your boat, man."

So you pack your shit and you and Jake hit the ruins.

* * *

"Jade is very fond of you," you hear Jake talk from a little down a hall. You're kneeling on the ground, taking pictures of some old rocks. "I am very glad she has a friend close to home."

Somehow, probably there's something in his voice, he sounds like he adores Jade. But not like you. It sounds like he simply... _adores_ her. Like she's a companion. Your money is on him being gay, to be honest.

"I like her too." You sound a little harsh, but you really don't wanna talk about this. "Can we talk about anything else?"

"But why? She's superb, and I do believe the only thing we two have in common, to be honest. Don't get me wrong," he's quick to add, "you're a swell guy, I just don't see much common ground for us. So I figured our mutual friend would be a good conversation maker."

"Yeah. She's cool. I know." You growl a little, and you're pretty sure Jake doesn't get the hint. He just keeps talking.

"You know," he says, "when I was a young boy, I remember my grandmother being the best adventurer I met."

Oh great, _now_ we're talking life stories.

"She was brave and brilliant," his voice sounds wistful, and for a second it's less annoying than it was a minute before. "She would take me to every ruin and excavation, and she'd bring me any piece of relic she could find. She was top-of-the-line like that."

You wait for a few seconds until you realize he's done.

"She.. uh... She sounds great."

"She was. Unfortunately she passed away. I spent the remainder of my childhood trying to hang on to her." Oh my god, Freud, shut up. "I think that's why I have taken such a fondness towards Jade. She reminds me of her."

"So you made friends with a young version of your grandmother."

Jake laughs. "When you put it like that, it does sound a bit weird."

Somebody take this guy to Switzerland. He's a fucking cuckoo clock.

"She was very alone, my grandmother." He continues and sweet merciful baby Jegus is this ever gonna stop? "That's why I'm happy to find that Jade has good friends. I suppose its a way to project my feelings towards her."

"Please don't tell me you wanna screw her. That would be sick." You blurt, and for a moment you feel genuinely  _terrible_. You may not have asked for this guy's life story, but it doesn't mean you should be so insensitive.

Surprisingly, he laughs.

"Oh no! I have no such regards for our friend! Not to say that she isn't lovely, but I have no wishes further than that of a long and dedicated friendship. She says she's good with robots. I'd like her to meet a friend of mine. I think they'd get along marvelously."

You sigh and continue working. Thankfully, Jake is silent for a while.

Fuck. Now you feel bad.

"Hey," you say, and as soon as you do you want to shut up. "Have you seen T _he Mummy?"_

"That is my favorite movie." He replies, and you can feel a hint of excitement in him. "Why do you ask?"

"Because maybe we have more than Jade in common."

* * *

By the time you guys come back from the ruins, its almost sunset. 

You found common ground in movies and some videogames, though Jake explains that his real life experience debunks some things Dave had desperately wanted to believe from ancient pyramids. You're so into the conversation that you don't notice that the bus came back until Jade catches up to you guys, and as if she'd never left, your heart swells.

Oh god you're starting to sound like one of those movies.

"You guys bonded! That's so cool!" You don't know how she knows but she knows.

"Yes! We had a wonderful time at the ruins, me and Buster here!"

You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

"But please excuse me," Jake says, "I need to go put some of my things in order. I forgot to put some papers away last night, and I'm afraid the night wind might blow them away." He turns to his tent. "Wonderufl to have you back, Jade!" And he's gone.

You walk Jade to the tent you share and she puts her things down. The temperature is dropping. She rants about her day and the things she saw while directing you towards the fire, and together you sit for a while, not entirely sure of when you decided to do this, but comfortable anyways.

"Today was so weird though! The expedition was great, but you won't  _believe_ what happened to me!"She exclaims, and somehow you just  _know_ where this is going. "Somebody asked me out!"

You press your lips. You're annoyed.

"Its not so unbelievable, Harley. Some roosters like corn."

"I have no idea what that means."

"Doesn't matter. Go on."

"Well anyways, it was Eridan." She says and pauses, like she's waiting for you to be shocked, but you don't bother pretending. She frowns. "You knew!"

You shrug, and you'd never had to try harder to be nonchalant. "He asked if we were a thing and I said no."

She sort of puckers her lips to the side, thinking. "Well, I guess." 

"So? What'd you tell him?" You hope you can keep the eagerness out of your voice.

"That I was very flattered, but I declined." She frowns. "He... didn't take it well."

"Nobody takes rejection well." You say. "I mean, I  _would,_ but I've never gotten rejected."

Jade laughs. You missed the sound. "You're so full of it."

You sort of smirk a little. She's still grinning. 

"My story's not over yet, though," her grin is wicked. It makes parts of you tingle. "You won't believe what happened next."

"Hit me with your best shot.!

"Feferi asked me out too."

Your arm muscles tense a little. Just how many  _imbeciles_ are gonna ask her out?

"Why is it that every douchebag's parents hated them? Feferi's a terrible name. What did they play darts with the phonebook? Poor guy."

Jade raises her eyebrows, amused. "Fef's a girl."

Now  _you_ shoot your eyebrows high up. "What?"

"Yeah. Feferi. The cute girl with pink glasses and a long skirt? Black skin? Curly hair? Marine biology?"

Oh  _god_ you thought you only had to concern yourself with getting guys away from her, what the  _hell?!_

"What did you tell her?" You ask, and you're trying hard not to sound annoying.

"That I'd think about it." She replies simply.

" _What!?"_

She looks at you, confused. "Well, why not? I rejected Eridan because I've seen how he treats girls."

"But you're not gay." You blurt. For a second the  _horrible_ thought crosses your head.

Jade just shrugs. "Who says I'm not gonna like her? I don't know, maybe I  _do_ like girls. And boys. Maybe I like everyone. Who knows?" She says. "I lose nothing by trying."

You're just... appalled. 

You guys have been sitting in front of the fire for some time. The wind is blowing cold but you can't feel it. There's a jumble of emotions and temperatures inside of you that yo can't really unwind. This fucking blows.

"Hey, Dave?" she calls after a few seconds of silence.

"Hm?" you don't trust yourself with words at the moment.

"I'm really happy you're here."

"You said that already."

"I know," she says quietly, and its like the wind could take her words. "I just really am, okay?" She sort of leans a bit against you, as if trying to find heat.

Silently, you put your arm around her, and, taking this as a positive response, she rests her head on your shoulder.

"I'm happy you're here too." You say, but your words are wet sand that falls to the floor and the wind can't take.

You guys are silent for a few minutes.

After a while she raises her head and looks at you. You see the reflection of fire in her eyes, and it looks as if her very skin is on fire, and that only makes the flames under your own skin ignite. There's electricity everywhere.

Every crevice in your rotten brain is screaming and chanting and making a fucking protest with cheap cardboard signs that read "KISS HER" but your neurons are on strike so you can't move.

And just like that the moment is gone.

Jade pulls back and sits up.

"I think we should go rest. It's late."

"Yeah," you reply, "You're right."

Every one of the little people inhabiting your brain broke their little offices and chairs out of sheer anger and you know they're collectively cursing at you for being a world class wimp.

You get to the tent and lay down. You stare at the fabric on top of you and feel the cold seep in through the insulator, but it doesn't make you cold, because the image of her lighted face is burned into your retinas and its part of your brain. Its a poster in every door of your mind. Its the background to every computer in your head. You stare quietly upwards as if you could see the sky beyond your tent, but its useless, and even if you could, your mind would be the farthest away it could.

"Dave?" Jade calls softly. You thought she was asleep.

"Is something wrong?" You can't help it. You sit up and look at her, concerned.

She looks... embarrassed.

"Can I... ask you... something? Its really embarrassing."

"Of course you can."

"Okay but don't laugh at me. And can we keep it between us?"

You consider making a joke, but in the middle of the night it seems that the shields are down. She's sitting up and you're face to face. You can barely see the blush through your shades.

You should really consider not wearing them all the time.

She clears her throat.

"I'm not good at dealing with people, right?"

"Right."

"So... earlier..." she clears her throat again. "When we were in front of the fire... did we..." She takes a deep breath. "Did we have a moment?"

Your heart stops for five full seconds.

"I'm sorry?"

"I just... I..'m not sure how it works... I mean..." she hides her face in her hands. "Never mind, forget it."

"No, tell me." You plead. She looks at you, a little nervous.

"Its just... I thought... you were going to kiss me." Its like something inside of her broke out. She looks at you fearfully.

You don't know what to answer.

"Would you have wanted me to?" you ask, and its like your words  _are_ the wind this time.

"I... don't know." she says, and she's blushing. She seems slightly more at ease than before, but the discomfort is still there.

"I would never do something you didn't want me to." You say factually, and you're proud at the steadiness in your voice. "So no, I wasn't going to kiss you unless I detected that you would've wanted me to."

"But did you  _want_ to?" she asks.

You assemble an answer in your brain, and it seems to take forever.

"That's not important."

"It is to me." She replies.

"If I did or didn't, the moment's gone." Breaking this conversation's like ripping a rib out. You lay back down. "Just get it out of your head, okay?"

She's not satisfied. Not even a little. You can feel it in the air and in the tension and you want to turn and tell her that yes, you did, and you still do, and take her by the shoulders and grab her face gently and kiss her more delicately than you have ever wanted before.

But Jade doesn't say anything else.

And you swear you can see the first rays of sunlight by the time you finally manage to fall asleep.

 

 


	5. Look Deep Inside You And Find Your Balls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun  
> dundundundun
> 
> DUNDUNDUNDUNDUN
> 
> the end

There's only three days of camp left.

You haven't been able to get that night out of your head. You don't talk before falling asleep anymore, and she spends a little more time with Jake than before. She's not omitting you, but she hasn't been as present as she was before.

You're stumped.

You're as stumped as the general douchebag in any movie, when he thinks all that shit but the nerd in the movies tries to warn him not to do  _that specific thing_ he wants to do but he does it anyways and before he knows it, his head is splattered all over the screen. Not to say that he'd notice it, considering that lacking a head usually complicates the idea of actually knowing something, though you  _could_ put that brain on a bear and make a cartoon out of it.

Great, now you're ranting.

And you're ranting because you have too much time alone with your thoughts.

And you do because you're an idiot.

You're the worst kind of idiot. You're an idiot who doesn't understand  _why_ he's an idiot.

You've run over that scene hundreds of times and you're pretty sure you did the right thing. But it was a stupid thing. Is the right thing the stupid thing? You know it was the  _hard_ thing, but was it the  _smart_ thing? And speaking about  _things_ how can one encompass all these adjectives? If something's right, wrong, hard, smart and stupid is it really a thing? Can your brain be so fucked up that you  _actually_ destroyed a basic concept of human existence?

You know you were right not to kiss her. You would've put her in an awkward position if she hadn't wanted you to, and frankly you're not a kiss-thief. You are a gracious kiss-recipient and bestower. Not a thief.

But were you  _really_ right?

Cause when she asked you she wasn't so much  _awkward_ as nervous, really. And she sounded a little wistful, right?

You sigh and shake your head.

Don't fool yourself boy. You did what you had to.

Its killing you, but its right.

At least you get some time to yourself to sort out your thoughts. Maybe you should move back to your tent for the remainder of the time, but how would you explain that to her? Its not as if you can say--

"Hullo! David!" Jake's voice saws through your train of thought like his voice is the blade of something really sharp and your train of thought is made of something really dull.

Eh, you're not even putting your heart on those comparisons anymore.

"Its just Dave," you answer. Jake catches up to you. He ran about half a mile to you and he's not even out of breath. Weirdo.

"Oh! I'm terribly sorry, Dave," he corrects himself. "I'm heading back to the ruins. Would you care to join me?"

You sigh and look around. Camp is pretty much empty. Everyone's working on their final report, and you probably should, too, but its a little hard to concentrate when all you can think about is the girl with whom you're sharing a tent.

"Yeah, I guess so. I don't have anything else to do."

"Wonderful! I'll fetch Jade." He says.

"Wait what?"

"Oh yes, I've invited her too. I don't think she'll mind you coming along! We can all three have a great time!"

You kind of dug yourself a hole, but you can get out of this if you think fas--

"Hey, JADE! Let's go to the ruins! Dave will be joining us! Isn't that wizard?"

Ah yes, well, that makes it a little harder to wiggle out of this one, doesn't it?

Well fuck.

* * *

You and Jade talk little on your way to the ruins. Mostly Jake runs his mouth the entire hour. You have no idea where this kid gets the energy to do that, but you suppose if a little parrot can do that, so can Jake. He doesn't look like he has brainpower enough to light a candle, so you suppose they have that in common.

_Jegus Christ, Strider, stop being such a dick._

"Ah, here we are!" Jake exclaims excitedly. "Come on, Jade, I'll show you those skulls I was talking to you about! If you look at them closely enough, they can almost remind you of a mummy!"

Jade makes a face. 

"Dude, she hates mummies."

Jake just blinks a little at her. "Hate mummies? My dear Jade! That's ridiculous! Mummies are amazing! Come on, I will show you! There's nothing to be afraid of! Come along!" He grabs her by the arm and you look at his hand like you wanna cut it.

Jade pulls back her hand. "No, thank you, Jake. I really don't wanna see mummies. Or mummy-things."

Jake frowns a bit, disappointed. "Ah, well, I understand." He says. "Then I'll be way over there. You can call me if you need me."

He leaves, taking some half-broken steps and leaving you and Jade alone. Jade smiles tightly and looks around her.

"So," she says a bit awkwardly, "I suppose that leaves the two of us."

You nod awkwardly. "Yeah, it does." You look to the side. She does too.

"Yeah.. I'm gonna be doing something... over there."

"Jade, wait." You say. She stops. You run a hand through your hair. "What are we doing?"

Jade presses her lips together. Even when she does that she looks adorable. The thought pops into your head continuously and you can't rip it out.

"I..." she sighs. "I'm embarrassed." She admits.

"Of what?"

"The other night."

"Nothing happened."

"I know," she sighs, "I'm.... I don't know how to feel about it."

You're a bit nervous and it irritates you. "Feel about nothing happening? That doesn't make sense."

She throws her hands forward and gesticulates like a mime on crack when she talks. "I don't know, Dave! It doesn't make sense but that's it! I don't  _know_ what I think but I  _do know_ that its about that! I can't tell what I'm feeling but I know its not what I  _should_  feel, even though I have no idea of what I  _should_ feel! Is there any right way? I don't know!" _  
_

"That doesn't--"

"I know it doesn't make sense, Dave." She cuts through your sentence angrily. "It doesn't have to make sense."

"Then what do we do, Jade? Cause right now I'm  _very_ lost." You say.

She thinks for a moment and sort of nods to herself. She raises her sight and looks at you straight in the eye.

"Let me try something. I think it might work." She says, and before you nod--

She's on her tiptoes. Her hands are in the base of your skull and she's pulling your face down.

And she kisses you.

You don't wanna exaggerate but you don't think you've ever had a better kiss.

Her lips are sort of awkward on yours at first, like she's not sure, but you snake your hand behind her and hold her by the waist. With your other hand you move her hair out of the way gently, and you feel her relax and part her lips.

And then you take the lead.

You turn around and press her against the walls of the ruins. A little bit of rubble and dust fall on you both, but it doesn't matter. You pick her up to have her at your height, and she shifts her arms to wrap them around your neck and shoulders, and you  _really_ let it out.

You kiss her hard. Like you want to be in the same space as she is. Your glasses bump into each other awkwardly, but the most you hear is her panting breaths through her nose, and you feel the way her face pushes against yours because she wants more of whatever this is. You resist ever single one of your urges to slip your hands beneath her clothes. You put her down on the floor again, but she doesn't break off. You don't break off.

At one point it just becomes a matter of neither one of you wanting to let go, but you're out of breath, so you untangle your mouth from hers and breath heavily. 

Her eyes are huge and her pupils are so big you can barely see the green. Its a little funny cause her specs make her eyes look bigger than normal. You rest your forehead against hers.

"I..." she's still out of breath. You say nothing and catch your own. She gathers her wits. "I really wanted to do that."

You peck her on the lips one more time. "You have more balls than me." You confess. "I was dying to do that too."

She smiles genuinely. "Then the other night..."

"It took all my self control not to." How is it that truths are slipping out of your mouth like criminals breaking out of prison?

"Why?"

"Cause I didn't know if you wanted to," you explain, and you can finally breathe normally, "and I'd rather cut off my hand than make you not wanna be around me."

Her hands are on your upper arms and you guys are very comfortable. You don't care that the closeness is making you both sweat, or that you've covered in dust. It doesn't matter because _goddammit_ Jade Harley just rocked your world.

"Uhm, fellows?" Jake calls. You both turn at the same time. He's sort of awkwardly standing there. "I'm... terribly sorry for interrupting. I just thought Jade would want to see the snakes... But I suppose that can wait... Well, carry on." He turns to walk away.

Jade disentangles herself from you. "Wait, I do wanna see the snakes!" She says and runs after Jake. Before disappearing she turns back to you and smiles at you brightly and you know this time you didn't screw up.

* * *

"If you keep doing that I'm gonna fall asleep." She states. She's using your stomach as a pillow while she works on her ( _solar rechargeable)_  laptop on her paper. You're playing with her hair.

"Maybe you  _should_ fall asleep. You still have two  _whole_ days before we leave." You say. Her hair is dry and tangled because of the weather, but to you its perfect. "Besides, you can send it up to three days after we go back."

"Not everybody likes to leave everything until the last minute."

"And why shouldn't they? You get a spurt of speed and efficiency fueled by panic and pressure that common energy drinks just don't have, Jade. Its the magical properties of our intrinsically developed ways to cope with the amount of work we have. Humanity has dug itself a hole of capitalism and workaholism that is simply not sustainable, Harley. Not sustainable at  _all_."

She laughs freely. Its lovely.

"You talk so much shit, you know that?" She asks. You allow yourself the liberty of a half-smile.  "Oh my God! Are you smiling?"

You try to kill the smile but only manage to control it less. "Screw you, Harley, I'm never smiling at you again."

She smiles at you. "That's bullshit."

"Yeah it is."

She looks at you for a few seconds and puts the computer to the side. You raise an eyebrow at her.

"You're right. The paper can wait." She says and suddenly she's on you and you guys have the best macking session ever.

* * *

 

Camp is over.

Its time to go back to school. You're already in the bus but its gonna take you a good eight hours to get back. Luckily you have Jade to keep you company.

She snores a little. 

Damn her.

You fix her hair behind her ear, wear your headphones and kiss the top of her head before resting your own head over hers.

Coming to the camp was the best idea you've  _ever_ had.

You don't even care that you're gonna have to explain to the others where you were and why you lied. You don't care that Eridan is glaring at you, or that Feferi actually looks excited to see you guys. Jake just seems completely oblivious to everything, and that's quite alright.

You get comfortable and fall asleep in an awkward position, but its the best sleep you've had in years.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all for sticking with me all the way!  
> I think i've never gotten reviews as good as the ones in this story and that makes me really happy!  
> I've been on a bit of a block lately and this story helped me unwind and i love it for it.
> 
> i want to write other pairings as well, so if anyone has a prompt for any pairing whatsoever, i'm still taking them

**Author's Note:**

> If someone has prompts send them my waaaaaaaaay
> 
> please
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> all cards on the table, half of this was written while i was hammered


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